Kurt Cobain: A Beautiful and Tortured Soul

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Four years. That is essentially how much time we had with Kurt Cobain. Nirvana released its first album in 1989 and it’s third and final in 1993.

Last night I watched Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck, the documentary about the Nirvana front man and 90s alternative rock icon.

I hesitate to use the word icon. And not because I don’t think Cobain is deserving of the label. In fact, I, along with many others view him as one of the catalysts for ushering in a new genre of music. Grunge came at the right time, just as music culture was getting over it’s fill of heavy metal and hairbands.

I hesitate to use the word icon, because after watching the film, I realize that label may ultimately be what caused his death. That the pressure of being a voice of a generation is what drove him to suicide. 

From what I saw, all he wanted out of life was a stable family environment and a platform to release his creative energy. That is what is so sad about this. That he became so great, but it ultimately led to his demise.

Four years is all he had.

So I ask, would you rather showcase your art to a limited audience for a lifetime; or for millions for a limited time? 

In this case, four short years.

Take It? Or Leave It? How to Find The Right Job

Deciding on when to accept a job comes down to three questions

Making a decision on a job prospect is rarely easy.

We’ve all been there. When we have a job, gig, opportunity or payday staring us right in the face. Some days saying yes to a job is easy as saying yes to yet another slice of pizza (because there really is never too much pizza). But sometimes, for whatever reason, saying yes is a struggle. Or maybe saying no is the difficult part. Why?

Is the pay not what you were hoping for? Does the outward appearance of the opportunity not seem enjoyable? Does it look like you are just going to be bored if you do take it?

It could be any or all of these. And the way to figure it out is to ask yourself these three questions.

1. Will this job challenge me?
2. Will I enjoy this job?
3. Will this job pay me what I am worth?

Before going any further, I must credit this topic to Erin Youngren, one-half of the San Diego-based wedding photography team, The Youngrens. I was watching a webinar she was giving about how wedding vendors should focus on finding their ideal clients and the way to go about doing that. She brought up those three questions as a best practice methods to finding that ideal client.

These questions really stuck with me because they are perfect to consider for independent contractors, the self-employed and even for those seeking a “traditional nine to five” job

Reason being, we would all love to work with our “ideal clients” 100% of the time; or work for a company that is ideal for us, but the reality is … reality. We have bills to pay, creative energy that needs to be exercised and a yearn to feel fulfilled.

Enjoying a job where you are being creatively challenged and being paid for that is the nirvana we strive for. However, we can’t always bat three for three.

But if you can answer "yes" to two of those three aforementioned questions, then that job just might be worth taking.

Here is a look at the three possible combinations:

Combination #1: Fueling Your Soul
A job that is challenging and fun, but doesn’t pay much (A + B)
These are the type of jobs we volunteer for because we believe in the cause or enjoy being with the people we are working with. It satisfies our soul, but not our wallet. These opportunities should complement paid opportunities and when handled correctly can facilitate potentially important connections.

Combination #2: Show Me The Money
A challenging job that pays well but is not enjoyable at all.  (A + C)
Sometimes the pay is just too good, and maybe the potential job has nuances that will challenge you and help you learn new skills. But never do it “just for the money,” because you will almost always regret it.

Combination #3: The Status Quo
A job that is enjoyable and pays well but is not challenging (B + C)
What’s not to love about getting paid to do something? But you need to be careful and selective about these jobs, because eventually you could get stuck in the inevitable feeling of complacency.

I think about the opportunity I had to DJ at a 50’s style diner. I grew up listening to my oldies music because that’s what my parents listened to. So getting paid to take the role of a 50s era radio DJ while getting a free meal during my shift seemed great. But then I realized the monotony of it. Eventually, I would just feel like I was just clocking in, clocking out? I knew it was unlikely to challenge and persuade me to learn new skills.

Conclusion
Until I heard Erin mention these questions, I’m certain I had not consciously asked those questions myself. In fact, it is likely I focused on one when considering a job. The key takeaway for me, and all of you, is to take on a mix of these combinations. 

We need to earn a living, but it should not be at the expense of shying away from your values or falling into the trap of complacency.

Finding the perfect job or the perfect client doesn’t happen by waiting for it or for them to show up. It happens by engaging in and deciding which ones are right for you when opportunities present themselves.

In My Own Words: A Guest Spot on the Dreamchasers Podcast

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Justin Kanoya, a DJ based in San Diego, California. PHOTO CREDIT: Arash Afshar

DJ Justin Kanoya (on right) with Dreamchasers podcast host, Lucas Armando.

I had the opportunity to guest with Lucas Barra on his podcast, Dreamchasers. It is an audio stream that gives ambitious millennials the tools, resources and inspiration to take their lives to the next level.

Oh, and B-T-W, I am not millennial (despite my use of BTW). But hopefully I can inspire a few.

The uninterrupted interview, in both video and audio form, is at the bottom of this post. Also, the original post is on Lucas' website. 

Since this is a rather lengthy interview -- nearly 50 minutes -- and we hit a wide range of topics, I divided it up for you to digest at your leisure. If you’ve ever wondered about my career path and what has motivated me to make my current life decisions, have a listen.

1. Beginning of a Career
Growing up I wanted to work for two companies. By the age of 25 I realized that dream and worked for both. And it ended up being a bad thing, sort of.

From Beckett Publications to Upper Deck to the Port of San Diego to DJing, this is my career path since 1995 explained in six minutes.

2. Jumping Industries
After seven years in the sports collectibles industry, I moved into local government. Yes, it’s as weird as it sounds. Then I got married, started raising a daughter and fell into a state of complacency.

3. Becoming a DJ Again
Simultaneous to my new job at the Port of San Diego, I got back into DJing, something I did in high school and college. It was a side job that flourished for the first few years. However, as increased responsibilities were introduced both at work and at home, I saw my DJ business slowly decline.

It was time to decide where to focus my energy.

4. Are You Just Existing?
Are you paying attention to the messages that may be calling you to something different? I finally started paying attention to those signs and that’s when things started to become more clear.

One of those signs was very clear when I started to DJ for Lululemon and getting to know their ambassadors and employees on a personal level. I discovered there was a better life to create and once I create it, I can be filled with work I enjoy.

5. The Little Blog That Started It All
Here’s a little more about how 1,000 words about my journey and a thank you to Lululemon led me to a whole new world of DJing.

I also talk about how upon hearing what inspired Helen Cloots to become a yoga teacher, in part, inspired me to a life as a full time DJ.

6. Taking The Leap
There were key indicators that made me begin to think about creating a different life for myself. What were those? And how will you identify them when they come around?

“Our life is as easy as it is going to get right now, at this very moment.”

Because of this, we truly need to commit to our decisions now.

7. When Waiting Is A Good Thing
I readily admit that waiting to make such a major life decision is not ideal. If you can do it now, then do it now.

But there is an advantage to waiting is gaining more professional experience in your current situation.

I’ve been fortunate to work with major corporate brands and lately have been DJing many evets for Fitbit. I know it’s my experience in a structured environment has given me the skills and demeanor to ensure relationships like those continue to flourish.

8. Go Whole Ass
The idea to commit to one career path is important for you. But it’s probably even more important for the people around you … your co-workers, your clients and customers.

Like Ron Swanson says, “never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.”

9. Sharpen The Saw
When does a hobby become a career path? If it’s something that you want to continually improve at for the benefit of others, then it’s probably something you should think about putting your all into. The moment you no longer want more responsibility is the moment you need to recognize it’s time to move on.

10. Commit To Your Dream
You must commit, but realize it does not mean a complete 180 degree turn in your life. It doesn’t have to be that you quit your job, sell all you possessions and move to Bora Bora. Perhaps you are just looking to manage a team at work, or work in a different department. If that’s your version of a dream, then let it be known and chase that.

11. Define The Dream
Discover what your purpose is, right now and work toward that. Discover your strengths and surround yourself with people that will enable you to play to those strengths.

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Complete Interview

My LA Moment; the time Josh Duhamel Rolled Up On Me

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While DJing in Los Angeles, even I was a bit surprised to see a Josh Duhamel. But moreso because I was actually playing his wife's song when he walked up to me. 

For as long as I can remember, I've had this weird “attribute” about me. It happens when I’m thinking about something and then suddenly that thing or something related to it comes up. It might be a song I'm thinking of that will come on the radio. Or I could be thinking of an actor and as I’m flipping through the TV I come across him on a random showing of a movie at 2 p.m. on a Saturday.

Well it happened again, in Los Angeles with Stacy Ferguson, A.K.A. Fergy Ferg, A.K.A. Fergie, A.K.A. Mrs. Josh Duhamel.

I was in L.A. with Fitbit to DJ at the Mile 22 cheer station of the Los Angeles Marathon. Exactly 28 songs into my “marathon, six hour” gig I figured it was time to drop the Fergie song, L.A. Love … I know, so cliche.

As I started playing it I see this guy walk up with his kid in a stroller. He starts recording me on his phone. This didn’t seem like too out of the ordinary, as it is fairly common that people will take photos or video of me DJing.

However, a minute or so later, I see him still hanging out and smiling back at me. Understand, where I was set-up was not an area that people were standing around and cheering. There were large groups gathered in other areas nearby, and here was this guy, with his kid, just standing behind me.

About 30 seconds later I look back at him, we make direct eye contact and then it hit me. It’s Josh-freaking-Duhamel .... Fergie’s husband!!

I literally shouted out “oh my god,” stunned at the coincidence that had taken place.

As I walked up to him, about five steps away, because remember he was standing so unusually close to me, and said “I just had that song ready to go, I didn’t even see you or realize you were there.”

To which he replied, “That’s funny, I just assumed you saw me walk up and decided to play it. And thanks, she will love it.”

Note he said “she will.” So I’m going to just digest the fact that at some point that day, while they were sitting on their couch at home, Josh showed Fergie a clip of me spinning L.A. Love.

And that’s a memory and an L.A. moment I’ll hold onto forever.

Here's a short video of the moment.

Josh Duhamel does a little lip sync to his wife's song, L.A. Love. F.Y.I., his wife is Fergie.

Stories From New York - Part 2

The New York skyline, and Freedom Tower, as seen from the 46th floor of the Trump Soho Hotel.

Even spending just a few days in New York City results in a host of stories. I can't imagine spending a lifetime there. Here are few more from my trip.

Move, Get Out The Way
In New York I always felt like I was in the way. Even with designated walking and biking lanes, certain areas get so tight there really is not actual separation. And with people moving in all different directions you constantly find yourself heading straight into another person’s path.

In other parts of the world, this usually means you start to walk a different path. Not New York.

In one such instance, I was headed toward a staircase while another guy was descending down. We were aimed right toward each other. Did he start to dive to his right while I did the same? No, he kept his line while uttering “MOVE. MOVE. MOVE."

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 A line of patrons waits to be seated at Dim Sum Go Go in New York's Chinatown.

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An assortment of chinese dumplings at Dim Sum Go Go.

Seinfeld 4
One of my favorite Seinfeld episodes, and likely shared by many others, is “The Chinese Restaurant,” where Elaine, George and Jerry are waiting to be seated at a New York chinese restaurant. The entire episode consists of them waiting and never getting that table.

I had my own moment with my three friends as we stood outside of Go Go Dim Sum in Chinatown. We were number 82, and as the numbers crept up closer to ours, we noticed numbers 84 and 85 and others higher than 82 were being called. They seemed to being going to larger and smaller parties than ours, so we just assumed our "just the right size" table was not ready.

At one point we even got a "you’re next." But minutes ticked away and more tables were seated. Finally, we asked what was going on and apparently our names had been crossed off, the host thinking we had been seated.

Once we were finally seated, we ordered several dim sum dishes, including a veggie sampler platter. Also despite not ordering it, a pot of tea was placed on our table. While two of my friends and I feasted on our carnivore friendly dishes, our one vegetarian friend waited and waited for her sampler. And we drank the tea.

On three occasions we asked for a status, and after 45 minutes of completing all of meat-laden dishes, the veggie platter came out.

The server was apologetic and began to motion to the platter that was sitting next to that pot of tea that was brought out -- once again, without us ordering it -- to our table earlier. He apologized for how long it took for the food to come out and as a make good, would not be charging us for …. the tea.

The tea, that we did not even order. We waited 45 minutes for a plate of food after our initial order of food was brought out. And they comp the $2 tea?

Umm, thanks?

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Slow Ride
New York City is known for being a city that moves at such a fast pace. People zooming and weaving through each other, honking their car horns and paying no mind to "Don't Walk" signals. But I discovered something rather interesting. To get anything done in New York actually takes a lot of time. In that sense, it’s a city that moves rather slow.

The problem is, with so many people in such a confined space and most whose only means of transportation is to walk or use public transit, you are at the mercy of those two things.

How fast can you walk? How quickly will the train or bus get you where you need to go?

With a limited amount of time in the day, there are are only a few things you can really get done. Whereas, in a place like San Diego, where everyone drives, parking is plentiful -- yes even in the Gaslamp as compared to New York -- one can check many things off their "to do lists" throughout the day. And if you forgot something in one part of town, just get back in your car and double back.

There is no doubling back in New York, well not at least if you are not on a time crunch, and who isn't these days.

New York, in my observation, is the slowest, fast paced city I know.

New York City's Grand Central Terminal

In case you missed it, here is Stories From New York, Part 1.